Drastic measures

I got sick of the fact that if one of us, me and Micke, is a bit annoyed or tired or something, we talk to each other in a stupid way, a lot with the words again, always, never. For example me complaining you never make food, you never take the initative to wash clothes, you always play computer games and again you forgot something. And these things are not true, in all the cases sometimes should have been used. So, there will be a boycot, at least from my side in the house of using these words (Micke does not know it yet), so I put up all these papers.





Another problem is that we expect the other to be as the other one is. For example Micke tells/asks me why I don't stand in the door for a long time in the morning when he leaves when he does it for me, and I again would like him to be more into wedding planning and cooking and baking and so on. We have just lately missed the fact that we are different, and behave differently, so we should not expect the other one the behave like the first one. But it's hard, especially with houshold things, I would like it to be exactly equal, that we put exactly the same amount on time on houshold stuff, I guess that will never happen. Hope my notes will help. One of them fell already.

Cargame crashes

This morning I made a great note witch I want to share with you.
Relationships are like the playing computer car games.

You know when you play them, sometimes you can drive a long distance without crashing, but then sometimes you crash all the time, from one of the walls to the other and then back again, and then you don't really know what turn to take and so on. I think relationships are the cars.

Food, drink, sleep, flowers

Me, almost ready to leave for La Bodega, with the necklace I got from Micke. We had been dancing before, valse and cha-cha. Micke is a good dancer, and I like good dancers.

My food at La Bodega, my main course. We had a 3 course dinner in my honor (as Micke was saying) with my mom, my brother and his girlfriend.

It´s weird that he has a girlfriend, he has always been so anti-relationships. But the girlfriend is really nice, don't really get what she sees in my crazy, weird brother, but I don't know him so well, so can't really say.

Afterwards we went to Jari&Dannu to drink some wine. That was fun, even if the wines me and Micke bought were not so good. And to mix passoa, malibu and grapefruitjuice isn't such a big hit.

The happy moviewatchers. And I was trying out the functions on our camera (1 year after we bought it, thats' why the colours are weird)

I got really, really tired at around 12, so we came home. Too much drinking, dnacing and so on.

My mom gave me a flower you can't kill, only if you overwater it. I like it. The other flower is the one I got from Micke. Happy, happy.

Today is chill day, but I am looking forward to it more than my other chill days. made some bread this morning. Scones are really nice if you don't ahve ny bread at home and you want breakfast, it takes like 15 minutes to make them. I recommend.

Yesterday in Pictures

Go to Lees blogg to see pictures from yesterday. I was not prepared for anything, so I look quite shitty.

The white man

The muffins Micke made are not so eatable, it is like dry bread, but I loved that he tried. He said he had been under time pressure, and that's why he didn't stir the egg and sugar enough. Anyone want some dry muffins?
Soon we are going to dance again, this time dnaces like valse, cha-cha, tango and foxtrott. We went for lunch to the center since I had to pay the dancing classes, I have finished my shoolwork for today and I am actually quite excited and motivated for shool right now. The white man's burden book is really good. It is asking why all the money that has been pumped into the developing countires haven't helped? And what went wrong.

My day yesterday

Yesterday was my day, I turned 23, and Micke did remember me. He really did. The only problem is that I wish my birthday had been some other day, I was so, so tired yesterday form Wednesday work and school, and so on. So could not enjoy it so much, was ungreatful, complaining and so on. When I got my lovely present I could't thank for it properly since I was so tired, and Micke tought I did not like and it wasn't such a happy morning. I got the black SNÖ necklace and black earrings, they look really good with black clothes.
I went to shool, had some clases, started reading a great book: the white man's burden, and then I went to Fazer café. Micke came there and as a suprise he had Lee with him. Ate my own choclate mousse apricot cake and then I still got another one from Micke, choclate raspberry cake. It was so so filling. UUh, but good. Then my clases continued, Micke went home, Lee too.
In the evning after all my clases, we went to memphis to eat, drank 2 bottles of sparkling wine, some mojitos, ate lamb, so, so good. After that Lee and Micke were really weird, and I did not know where we were going, we just walked, drank some more sparkling wine. In the end we went to watch Mamma Mia ( I loved the movie, even if my drunkness state was a bit too high) and it was such a suprise. I love suprises!!!!
When we got home, Micke had bought really nice flowers and made choclate muffins. And that is a suprise!!!
Thank you Micke (and Lee) for giving me a almost perfect birthday (it would have been perfect if it woudl have been some other day.

He died

And then the fucking idiot who did it died. It is just so unfair. I would like to kill him slowly. Not give him the pleasure of just leaving everything. I am in favour of death penalty in cases like this.

Horrible world

It is just so horrible. What makes you decide to kill your fellow students? Why? Why can't you just speak, acream why do you have to kill. There is so many more people you hurt than those you kill. What is wrong with the finish society? In 1 year there has been 2 shool shootings, today 9 persons were killed. I hate the idea that shools can't be safe places anymore. Why are students so depressed? This makes me very, very, very sad.

It was a horrible day at work to. Bad day.

Me bad student

I had decided to focus on a schoolcourse and this morning I would have the lecture at 8.30, but then they called from work yesterday and asked if I can come at 10 alreday (was supposed to be there at 11 at first), and I made a quick decision, hate quick decisions, and said yes. So now I don't have time to go to school. Typical, since I would like to go.

Blog layout?

Is the blog better when the test is streched, so that the lines are longer? Like it is now, or was it better before?

Give me motivation!

I don't have any motivation for school work. I got nothing done yesterday, so now I have to. Yesterday was a chill day, we washed clothes, made food, cleaned the apartment, watched CSI, ate pizza and tried to chocolate fondue (just with 4 pieces of chocolate).
I realized I don't really like Sundays. I have had nothing to do the last Sundays, but I still should have done a lot, but since it is Sunday I don't. Confusing. Should start making plans for Sundays.
Today I will study hard, not do a lot of Internet surfing. No.

6 hours of dancing

Me and Micke has this weekend had one of our dancing courses. On Friday evening we danced 2,5 hours "bugg", and yesterday 3,5 hours of "fusku". So, so great. I love dancing. And even Micke liked it. Now our legs are really sore. But it was worth it!
Yesterday evening we went to Lee to chill and we were supposed to go out, but then we jsut went to McDonalds and came home. I ate a big mac, I normally never buy burgers from McDonald's, I jsut eat Mickes burgers.
I also painted my nails at Lees, and I have nothing to take away the color wth, and they look horrible, like petrolium blue or soemthing.

1 week late

Last Friday we had the crayfish party, here are some pictures form that:
I got a birthday present there also, from Anders, Heidi, Witor and Fanny. It is the wonderful choclate fondue. I love it. And I was so suprised when I got it. I just turn 23 so I guessed no one would remember. I turn next Thursday. I have a feeling Micke will forget, he is not good with special days, I guess I just have to accept he will never change.

Problematic days lately

So have had no deire to update my blog. Almost every day since Friday have sort of been bad. On Friday I was tired, but we got a lot of weddingstuff done, and we had a nice family crayfish party.

On Saturday I was tired, to train from Karis-Helsinki was 45 minutes late, I was late for work, it was hectic at work and I was tired again. On Sunday I was just generally in a down mood, had nothing to do and was sort of bored and so on.

Monday morning was nice, we took a nice walk with Micke in the morning, but in the afternoon I got a sore trought, again. Last time I also got it from walking in the fresh air. The evening was anything but fun. It was the worst evening in a long time. It had to do with prenuptial agreements, future parents in law and a lot of shit. It was just horrible. Luckily Lee lived in Helsinki, so I went to her place, but this again made Micke very worried, since I would not take his calls. So horrible, horrible shit.

Today I have been sick, finally seen all Grey's anatomy episodes, done nothing smart. Then we also had a nice, relaxing dinner with Micke at Virgin Oil. We really needed it after the shit yesterday.

Orchids

I want this colored orchids for my wedding bouquette (bukett).

Economics (nationalekonomi) is blää.

I am in shool right now. Nothing to do. I should of course study, but I don't have any motivation for it, I am supposed to read about organizations and their role for motivating and coordinating people. Boring. When I go to the lectures I force myself to sit on the front row so that I have to listen and not do other things, for example fall asleep. They are from 8.3-10, 3 mornigns a week. Lovely! I have economics as my mayor and it is so out of this world. So. In all the models we assume either that everybody has all the information or some other really unrelevant thing. We count how much a company should produce with numbers no one has or know in this world. We simplify everything and learn nothing concreate. So, simple economics is great, but the deeper shit is just shit. That is why I also have a Spanish course and a course in children's rights in developing countires. This is so my last year in this shool, then I'll do something else.

Tomorrow me and Micke are both free from shool. We are going to my homeregion to check out the wedding reception place, talk with the catering, maybe try some cakes, check out the church and so on. In the evening we have a crayfish party. And Saturday work. Sunday chill.

Disagreements in relationships

I want to write about my realtionship, couple realtionship, toughts. I think it is natural, and good to have fights and big arguments and sadness and downess and so on. I am still not so sure that a man and a women are meant to live together forever 24/7, and for individual persons in today's world it is not easy to do. People will always be different and there is no one that is the same. That's why good fighting is good in relationships, because for me that means that the realtionship is working. And I don't think it should be a shameful thing to have fights in a realtionship, it is just natural, and that is why I don't think fights have to happen inside the doors of the home. Of course it is embaressing for the witnesses of couple fights, but that's life. And if you accept fighting/disagreements as a natural thing, you, as a couple won't give up after some big fights. We all are different.

And after a downtime, everything feels so much better.

Wedding rings

Yesterday we ordered our wedding rings and paid part of it, so now it is real real real. I get a great ring. Normally wedding rings ca be from gold, white gold, platina or titanium. We are going to have it in titanium, it is the strongest material.
Mickes ring is going to be very special, but still not so outstanding, so it will still be nice in 70 years. Mine is also going to be a ring to wear forever and that is why the price went up a bit form the budgeted 400 (a bit meaning almost 3 times more...), because this is THE sign of the marriage, so it have to be nice. It will be especially done for me and it will have 9 diamonds in a row, since 9 was the only number to make some sort of sence, since we are getting marriad 2009. And it will go perfectly together with my engagement ring. We take our rings from GL (Gad Leison).

I also had a nice afternoon with Mixu, Melle and Lee. Felt like in the old days when we were hanging out in Serendi. We have become so old. And wise.

Over

Now mine and Mickes fight is over. It has been a quiet evening. I have counted that we have approximetly 1 bad day for every 14 days. That means one bad year and 13 good. That is quite okay.
He just said that his wedding ring text should be: grande idiota. I somewhat agreed. The bad atmosphere came from me thinking Micke plays to much and doesn't do anything for our wedding and that alll the responsibility is on me, and that I don't want a wedding.

My none dresses

Go to Lees blogg to check out some dresses I decided not to take.

Hi

Micke is a WoWholic. I am really anoyed right now. Lee is here. I made a mud cake, it was too muddy, all the mud was in the end on the table. Not my bakingday today. Not at all. We had a playing card game night yesterday. It was fun. Tanja suggested osama bin laden would be USA next president.

I found my dress

I have a wedding dress!

I tried in total 4 dresses, and the one I decided to go for was the first one I tried on. It wasn't the first one because I decided so, but because the person dressing me decided so, but still, the first one. The second one was also really lovely, it was in gold color, but in white it would not have been as nice.
Mine is quite ordinary, but the color is a bit more special. It was comfortable and nice looking. I am happy with it. And now I have one thing less to stress about. I could maybe have found a nicer one if I kept looking for a long, long time, but you never know. Now this is decided and hafly paid. It is a rent dress from suomen pukuvuokraamo.

Now my biggest problem is not to tell Micke what it looks like, that will be difficult. I want to tell everybody!

Love

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing" - Goethe

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin

Made my decision

I jsut made my decision, or actually yesterday night. I won't go on the studytrip to the states. You can't have everything in life and this is so risky. So if there won't fall down a lot of money from the sky in 1 day, I won't go. Which of course is a bit sad, but New York will always be New York. And I can read about the companies and organisation on internet.

I started an interesting university class yesterday, about children in developing countires. It seems very interesting.

I want, you want, we want

Sometimes we have funny problems with Micke. For example when there are 2 dishes left from previous days, in other words one portion of one dish, and one of the other. Then there is the problem, who gets which food. Because Micke wants me to get the food I like more, and I want Micke to have the food he likes more. And then it might be quite problematic, if we both think the other one wants one of the dishes. It might even result in a fight. And even more problematic if for example I, don't know which food Micke would like to have more, and he won't answer with a simple answer, because he wants to give me the better food. Problematic?! Yes.
But one day we found the greatest solution. We both eat half and half of the dishes. And then we won't have any problems. And we get a more diverse diet.

I am still lost

Had a bad nights sleep with weird dreams, and then I was afraid I would hit Mickes (now red) toe. I went to shool at 8, and found out after half hour of waiting we ahd no class. Lovely. Shopped socks and got home. Now I have been trying to figure out my life. Get a plan.
Uppsala looks like a nice opportunity. If I could, I would love to study a masterprogram in development studies there. Then I would be this year in Helsinki and then if I don't get in in Uppsala next year, just work for a year.

So my second problem is if I have the money to go to New York and Washington. I want to go, but at this point I don't know If the money I potentially would spend would give me something in return, but then again if it would be paid, then why wouldn't I go. But then we get to the question, how interested am I in the US economy, am I willing to pay at least, or maybe less, 600 euros for it. Especially since there are other things I would like to do this year, than just eat peasoup.

Life toughts

Falling in love has made me something I never tought I would become. Never. But I would absolutly NOT change it for anything. The greatest thing is to love and be loved (from some smarts song). I really feel that it is like that, love is one of the greatest feelings in life.
But, there is always a but. When I chose love I lost my passion for a great career. And that is not because of Micke, that is totally something that has changed in me. I see that marriage, familiy, kids, living together, life together is something really really great, and something I truly want. But all my life before Micke I was just striving for a nice career, I had a focus in my studies, a goal. Nothing, no one else mattered. Now I am totally lost. I mostly study because it would be stupid to give up now, but I have no clue what exactly to do with it all.
I know that if I some years back would have tought I would become like this, I would never have allowed myself to do it, but now when I am here, I would never go back. Never.

I just have to find a new direction in life, and it is probably not the one that was good for me in my old life. And I have the greatest person to support me in it, since Micke is so so supportive for everything that has to do with my life, he always tells me to take the opportunities.

Should I go for the study trip to New York or not?

I don't think I am so into economics anymore, it is just so out of this world. I want something real. Have to find my passion and focus in life. It can't just be food and Micke.

Breakfasts

I really love big, late breakfasts. And breakfast food is one of my favourite foods. It is so great to start the morning with a lot of water (0,5-1 liter), some internet and then when you are hungry have a big nice breakfast: Bread, cheese, trukey, vegetables, bran flakes, milk, coffee, fruits. Mmmm. But when shool starts at 8, it is not so nice. Saturday, Sunday breakfasts are the best.
And american pancakes are good, even if it is not so much breakfast food for me, too sweet. Bacon and egg is also kind of new for me. But nice things.

Micke has a blue toe

Micke hit his toa against the training bike in the morning. Really hard, and now it has a weird blue purple color. Now he is eating Nesquick choclate flakes with milk. He is a big baby. But he is mine.

Trying dresses

On Firday at 11 I am going to try on wedding dresses. Aaahhh. Scary! I am going to rent one. I just have to find one.