Down

I have lately, quite long now actually, been feeling quite down. Nothing a normal person would notice since it is easy to play happy, but I notice it in my head, and I guess Micke also can say since I am so the real (horrible) myself with him. I don't like this feeling, I would like to be happy, happy flying on pink clouds and just be normal me, but no. Right now I just feel like lying in the bed, doing nothing. I have tried to fix it by eating good healthy stuff and rest a lot, and have things to look forward to, but have not totally worked, don't get that great feeling like " wau, life is great" (even if it totally is).

Today I tried something different. Went for a great salad lunch with my second cousin to Teatteri. Yum. Recommend! Then I just walked around and wanted to find a supportive bra (did I? No!) and gave myself the premission to look at baby clothes. And I even bought a pair. Also realised that it is impossible to buy clothes when you don't know the sex, I don't like those brown clothes and all the others are for either sex, and I don't want to dress my son in girly clothes. Children should be treated the same, but in our culture boys and girls dress differently and that is how it is.

This is what I found. Micke wants a strong child, so bamse is great. And this is something I can imagine both a little girl and a boy sleeping in.

On the way home I ate an arnold's donut (making my stomach bigger...) and when I got home I had some marabou daim. But I still don't feel much better. Hopefully I will get happy when Micke comes home.

Today I also decided to take a first, stomach picture, and decided to post it here. But now, there are 2 things to observe. I never wear clothes that are this tight outside the house (on top of this I had a big shirt), so in real life you don't really see there is a stomach. Second, I have always been quite big, so the stomach is not really that big. Then also some side comments, I put my arms in the air, so I guess that makes it weirder (maybe bigger!?!) and then I took the same picture from different distances, so you see it is quite easy to make a stomach look bigger on pictures...

19+3